The Journey: PCA Parent Podcast

Evaluating Different Parenting Styles

Guest: June Hunt

Biblical Counseling Keys

Hope for the Heart - Providing Biblical Hope and Practical Help

May is Mental Health Awareness Month - check out some resources on this subject.

Four problem parenting styles:

1. Dependent - parents that are possessive, manipulative, suspicious, over-involved - Rebekah in the Bible, protected her favorite child Jacob through deceit and manipulation. Parents should release control of their children to God - check out Proverbs 3:5-6.
2. Domineering - parents are over-controlling, inflexible, performance-based, hypercritical. Children can be either subservient or strong-willed; under-achievers or over-achievers. We see this from Laban in the Bible - a domineering father. Biblical counter - whoever wants to be great among you, must be a servant. Don’t make things all about you - seek first the Kingdom of heaven. Domineering parents are filled with pride.
3. Doting - over-protective, kids can become spoiled; yield to pressure, kids can be manipulative; desperate for harmony, kids can become disrespectful; rescue too much, kids become irresponsible. Let your children make decisions on their own and allow them to fail - failure can be a great teacher. Lawn-mower parents try to mow down every obstacle in the path of their children. Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child. Biblical example: Eli, who will not discipline his sons and they become irresponsible and worthless men. Parents, you need to be “parents” to your children, not their “friend.”
4. Detached - avoiding responsibility, apathetic, ambivalent, unwilling to set boundaries; children can become self-sufficient, insecure, undisciplined, lack of follow through. Biblical example: King David, successful in so many other aspects of his life, but not as a parent - did not discipline his own children.

Proverbs 29:17 - Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

Biblical parenting style: Discipling - Goal is to develop Christ-like character in your children. Parents must lead by example, implement healthy and biblical boundaries that include consequences for crossing those boundaries. When parents implement healthy boundaries, kids are secure. When parents are encouraging responsible behavior, kids are confident. When parents are comforting, kids become compassionate. When parents are loving without conditions, kids become caring. Biblical example: Timothy, raised by a godly mother and grandmother who model sincere faith which help Timothy to become a strong man of God.

Suggested Resources:

Bonding with Your Teen Through Boundaries by June Hunt

Parenting: Steps for Successful Parenting by June Hunt

Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp

The Housing Market is Bananas!

Guest: Hunter Dehn

Find out more about Hunter at Hunter Dehn Realty Group

214-471-5007 or email: hunter@hunterdehn.com

What things should you consider when buying a home? LOCATION - remember, this is where you’re raising your family. Are you close to your church, school, work, etc.?

Do I need a real estate agent to help me buy or sell my home - can’t I do this on my own? First, you get what you pay for! Second, having an expert can greatly increase the value of your home in selling or your ability to get a fair deal as a buyer.

I’m not in the market to buy or sell right now, should I look into upgrading my home with the equity I have in it? If I do make some upgrades, where should I spend that money for the best return?

Want to make upgrades to your home, walk in and look at it as if you’re a new buyer - what do you see that needs to be repaired/replaced, where can you make a quick splash for a positive visual impact? Also, don’t try to cover up a bad smell with 5 Glade plugins! New lights help tremendously - and fresh paint is usually a quick way to brighten up a home.

Pay attention to interest rates - which will determine how much it costs to borrow money.

Parenting Perspectives with Dr. Rick Fowler

Guest: Dr. Rick Fowler 

Professor of Psychology at Truett-McConnell University

“Lawnmower parenting” - mowing down all the obstacles in the path of our children, trying to make life “easier” for our kids - is this the best strategy for our children long-term?

Dr. Fowler - if a child has a problem, I’d say it’s often 60% the problem of the parents!

When everything is done for our children, they don’t have to learn how to do anything. As a result, they expect things to be done for them…even when they become adults.

Most of the problems that our kids have are a result of the fact that too many parents want to be “friends” with their children.

How do we, as parents, move from doing things for our children to actually teaching our children how to do things on their own.

1. First realize that if you have more than one child, you’ll have very different children - different skills, temperaments, etc. - so each one has to be “trained” in the way that THEY should go
2. Allow your children to be part of the planning process so that when they face consequences for not following through on the plans, it was THEIR plan to begin with!
3. Understand the differences between “rules” and “preferences” - don’t compromise on the rules, but you can bend on the preferences.
4. Give your children consequences for not following through on the action plans - and you can even give your children some say in the actual consequences!
5. Routines help children develop executive functioning skills and learn responsibility!
6. After school, lay out what work needs to be done. The biggest struggle in homework is getting STARTED. 
7. Help students learn to utilize a calendar - planning is a very important life skill.
8. Allow your children to try things…and fail…to help them find where their passions lie.

Parents, we need to also ask “what motivates us” - what do we hope to accomplish by training our children - what are our goals for our children?

HE is Risen...Easter Celebration!

Guest: Dr. Jonathan Teague

Good Friday services at Prestonwood, April 15

English services at Plano and North campuses: 6:30 pm

Prestonwood en Español at Plano and Lewisville campuses: 6:30 pm

If you would like to be baptized, please contact baptism@prestonwood.org or call 972-820-5211 (Plano campus) or kgreenwell@prestonwood.org or call 972-798-6702 (North campus).

Easter Worship services at Prestonwood, Saturday, April 16 or Sunday, April 17

English services - Plano campus, Sunday at 8:00, 9:30, and 11:00 am

English services - North campus, Saturday at 5:00 pm; Sunday at 8:30, 10:00, and 11:30 am

Prestonwood en Español at Plano and Lewisville campuses: Sunday at 2:00 pm

Easter Buffet (click to register) at Plano campus - Sunday at 10:30 and Noon

Cost: $16.95 for adults 12 and up, $9.95 for children ages 3-11, free for children 2 and under

Establishing family traditions for Easter:

1. Worship with the family of God - don’t underestimate the value of corporate worship, the gathering of God’s people in God’s house opening the Word of God and lifting high the name of Jesus!
2. Share a meal with your family celebrating Easter. Open the Scriptures and read the Word of God as a family. 
3. Dress up and wear something bright, festive, and celebratory for Easter Sunday to commemorate the “new life” in Christ that is seen in the festive and spring (pastel) colors!

What’s so “good” about Good Friday?

If there is no death and burial, there won’t be a payment for sin and there wouldn’t have been a resurrection and new life in Christ!

BEACH CAMP!

Guest: Jason Mick, PBC Student Pastor

Dates for BEACH CAMP: June 12-17, 2022

To register visit PrestonwoodStudents.org

Jason also mentioned some helpful Parent Resources available on the Prestonwood Students website that cover a variety of topics from College Prep to Dating, Depression & Anxiety to LGBTQ - check out these resources and plan some engaging conversations with your teens this summer!

Jaco Booyens (Mature Theme)

Guest: Jaco Booyens

Parental Warning: the subjects that Jaco is exploring in this podcast are more of an adult/mature nature, not intended for younger aged children.

Please excuse the difficulties in the recording.

Learn more about Jaco Booyens and check out all the different aspects of Jaco’s ministry by visiting his website Jaco Booyens Ministries.

By when should we do what? How and when do we introduce our children to the various conversations related to human sexuality? Culture wants to introduce our children to sexual aspects and themes at a very, very young age. How do we, as Christian parents, both protect our children and their minds from these concepts…while also looking to equip and prepare them for the issues of the world? 

Who is your family? What’s your family code or creed? Is who you are lined up with the Word of God? If you have a family code/creed, then you can compare different life decisions to the code that you’ve set up and agreed to - if something doesn’t line up with your family creed, then you can more easily say no to that concept.

Parents, it is our job to “frame” the conversations and issues for our family. 

Average age of “porn entry” is a young boy aged 8.

Jaco - Satan can’t have a family, so he’s coming after yours. Wake up, parents!!!

Minimester Testimonies

Minimester Highlights

Parents, I hope you’ll enjoy the testimonies of some of our PCA US students as they share about their minimester trips. The students you’ll hear from are Katelyn Teague (sophomore), Lowery DeVore (senior), Cole Rumsey (senior), and Tate O’Neal (sophomore).

If you want to see and hear minimester testimonies and highlights from all the trips taken during that week, check out the two different links - first to the PCA Upper School chapel following minimester week where students share from their experiences with their classmates and/or the minimester highlight testimonies offered during the PCA faculty culture meeting:

PCA Campus Ministry chapels

Minimester highlights at PCA faculty culture meeting

 

Planning for the Future with Lorne Book, J.D.

Guest: Lorne C. Book, J.D.

Estate planning - your “estate” includes anything that a person owns in their personal capacity. Estate planning is the process of leaving your family more than a mess (regardless of the size of your estate).

Estate planning isn’t just for you - if your parents are alive, you need to find out if they have a will.

Two categories of estate planning:

1. Death - who is going to own your property after you pass?
2. Disability - who is going to step in and make decisions for you if you are unable to?

Power of Attorney (POA):

1. Durable POA - for financial matters
2. Medical POA - for medical decisions, coupled with authorization to release medical records under HIPAA

Life Support Directive - your “end-of-life” care - make the decision before you are unable to make it, takes the pressure off your loved ones to make these decisions during a difficult time

Important addition - to have these tough conversations with family members means that you need to address relational rifts and seek to repair those while you have time. 

When your kids turn 18, they are a legal adult and have the capacity to legally contract on their own - be mindful of those individuals and companies who would like to have access to your young adult. Now is the time to talk to your kids about planning early for the important decisions they’ll get to make.

Lorne C. Book, J.D.

Attorney and Counselor at Law

BOOK LAW FIRM

4425 Plano Pkwy., Unit 103

Carrollton, Texas

T: 214-305-6974

lbook@booklawfirm.com

www.booklawfirm.com

A Theology of Suffering

Guest: Dr. Connor Bales, Prestonwood Baptist Church, North Campus Pastor

New book: Counted Worthy: A Father’s Perspective on the Theology of Suffering

Connor shares their family’s intimate journey with two special needs daughters - Libby and Hannah. Both girls were diagnosed with the rare genetic disease called Trisomy 16p. 

“Everyone suffers, just not all of our suffering is the same.” Connor Bales

Joni Eareckson Tada says in her book When God Weeps, “This is good news for the suffering soul. The Son of God did not exempt Himself from affliction but lived through it and learned from it.”

Connor Bales: I counsel people who engage with those in suffering to usually say only three things:

1. I’m so sorry - it is critically important that we acknowledge sadness and grief over whatever it is that they are suffering
2. This is awful - every sufferer should be validated in their suffering with the acknowledgement that whatever they are facing and enduring is bad for them
3. I love you - the unconditional Gospel-reminder that we love and support one another in the midst of suffering is Christ’s work in and through us

Other great resources:

Stephanie Hubach - Same Lake, Different Boat: Coming Alongside People Touched by Disability

D.A. Caron and Kathleen Nielson - Resurrection Life in a World of Suffering

Joni Eareckson Tada - When God Weeps

Randy Alcorn - If God is Good: Faith in the Midst of Suffering and Evil

Preparing for College

Guest: Austin Gentry 

10 Things Every Christian Should Know For College: A Student’s Guide on Doubt, Community, & Identity

Best advice: make sure as a parent you’re having meaningful and purposeful conversations with your students about areas where the world will challenge them - SOGI (Sexual Orientation and Gender Identity), sex, alcohol, the goodness of God, suffering, death, etc…and you need to begin these conversations probably at a younger age than you might think!

Another resource that might be helpful - Surviving Religion 101: Letters to a Christian Student on Keeping the Faith in College by Michael Kruger

Great point from Austin - parents, you’ve already demonstrated that you’re committed to the spiritual success of your students - let’s keep that going! Those critical conversations need to happen not only before your students head off to college, but while they are on a college campus…and beyond.

If you’re looking for a great podcast for your college-aged or older students, check out LifeTalk, the PCA Alumni podcast hosted by PCA Alumni Director Megan Rogers and PCA Worldview Director Dan Panetti