Parenting Perspectives with Dr. Rick Fowler

Guest: Dr. Rick Fowler 

Professor of Psychology at Truett-McConnell University

“Lawnmower parenting” - mowing down all the obstacles in the path of our children, trying to make life “easier” for our kids - is this the best strategy for our children long-term?

Dr. Fowler - if a child has a problem, I’d say it’s often 60% the problem of the parents!

When everything is done for our children, they don’t have to learn how to do anything. As a result, they expect things to be done for them…even when they become adults.

Most of the problems that our kids have are a result of the fact that too many parents want to be “friends” with their children.

How do we, as parents, move from doing things for our children to actually teaching our children how to do things on their own.

1. First realize that if you have more than one child, you’ll have very different children - different skills, temperaments, etc. - so each one has to be “trained” in the way that THEY should go
2. Allow your children to be part of the planning process so that when they face consequences for not following through on the plans, it was THEIR plan to begin with!
3. Understand the differences between “rules” and “preferences” - don’t compromise on the rules, but you can bend on the preferences.
4. Give your children consequences for not following through on the action plans - and you can even give your children some say in the actual consequences!
5. Routines help children develop executive functioning skills and learn responsibility!
6. After school, lay out what work needs to be done. The biggest struggle in homework is getting STARTED. 
7. Help students learn to utilize a calendar - planning is a very important life skill.
8. Allow your children to try things…and fail…to help them find where their passions lie.

Parents, we need to also ask “what motivates us” - what do we hope to accomplish by training our children - what are our goals for our children?