Evaluating Different Parenting Styles

Guest: June Hunt

Biblical Counseling Keys

Hope for the Heart - Providing Biblical Hope and Practical Help

May is Mental Health Awareness Month - check out some resources on this subject.

Four problem parenting styles:

1. Dependent - parents that are possessive, manipulative, suspicious, over-involved - Rebekah in the Bible, protected her favorite child Jacob through deceit and manipulation. Parents should release control of their children to God - check out Proverbs 3:5-6.
2. Domineering - parents are over-controlling, inflexible, performance-based, hypercritical. Children can be either subservient or strong-willed; under-achievers or over-achievers. We see this from Laban in the Bible - a domineering father. Biblical counter - whoever wants to be great among you, must be a servant. Don’t make things all about you - seek first the Kingdom of heaven. Domineering parents are filled with pride.
3. Doting - over-protective, kids can become spoiled; yield to pressure, kids can be manipulative; desperate for harmony, kids can become disrespectful; rescue too much, kids become irresponsible. Let your children make decisions on their own and allow them to fail - failure can be a great teacher. Lawn-mower parents try to mow down every obstacle in the path of their children. Prepare the child for the road, not the road for the child. Biblical example: Eli, who will not discipline his sons and they become irresponsible and worthless men. Parents, you need to be “parents” to your children, not their “friend.”
4. Detached - avoiding responsibility, apathetic, ambivalent, unwilling to set boundaries; children can become self-sufficient, insecure, undisciplined, lack of follow through. Biblical example: King David, successful in so many other aspects of his life, but not as a parent - did not discipline his own children.

Proverbs 29:17 - Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.

Biblical parenting style: Discipling - Goal is to develop Christ-like character in your children. Parents must lead by example, implement healthy and biblical boundaries that include consequences for crossing those boundaries. When parents implement healthy boundaries, kids are secure. When parents are encouraging responsible behavior, kids are confident. When parents are comforting, kids become compassionate. When parents are loving without conditions, kids become caring. Biblical example: Timothy, raised by a godly mother and grandmother who model sincere faith which help Timothy to become a strong man of God.

Suggested Resources:

Bonding with Your Teen Through Boundaries by June Hunt

Parenting: Steps for Successful Parenting by June Hunt

Parenting: 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family by Paul David Tripp